CITY FOLK; KS: Tests on lab mice have shown the new Facebook redesign to cause impotence.

The study, involving over 500 anonymous mice, was conducted by the University of Kansas’ Professor Emeritus of Useless Studies, Dr. Gabor Raskolnikov.

“What we found was that participants were so confused by things like the new mini-Facebook in the corner of the regular Facebook, that not only could they not find out what their friends were doing, but also couldn’t, well, you know, hee hee,  afterwards.”

There has already been a public outcry against the redesign from people with nothing better to do with their time. Many cite drops in birthrates during previous Facebook redesigns.

“I’m Autistic, so [the redesign] makes sense to me,” said Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. “My impotence is related to something else.”