VANCOUVER, B.C; A team of genetic researchers at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver says the genetic drift between puppets and muppets is .017%, far less than previously thought.

The the team, lead by Dr. Rafaelle LaFapha, studied a group of forty anonymous puppets and muppets using a new method of genetic modeling.

“I think the results give credence to Theory D,” said Dr. LaFapha.

Theory D hypothesizes that muppets are nothing more than puppets with a different name.

The theory has caused some controversy, however. Many have found it to be slanderous since it operates on the assumption that Jim Henson coined the term while hallucinating on mushrooms.

The study also found that academic scientists can easily exploit universities out of money by getting them to fund obviously ridiculous studies.