DOWN HOME YA’LL, GA: Celebrity chef, Paula Dean, was arrested this past weekend for drunk and disorderly conduct, as well as aggravated assault and battery of a bus boy at an unnamed Atlanta dining establishment.

Dean, renowned for her home style cooking and problem drinking, reportedly had a blood-alcohol content of .981, a personal best for her as well as a medical first for the human species.

After consuming three 750 ml bottles of Beefeater Gin, Dean jumped up on her table and began shouting. “She started dancing with her sunglasses on,” recounted Oliver McKenzie, another diner at the restaurant. “She came over to our table and told us that it was ‘her party.’ Then she sat on my lap and asked me if I wanted to party. My wife and kids were there. It was uncomfortable.”

Later that evening, Dean attacked a bus boy who didn’t bring her the amount of butter she equested. The bus boy, whose name is being withheld due to ongoing litigation, reportedly “told her we didn’t have enough butter. She asked for a pallet of butter, I told her there wasn’t that much in the restaurant, then she threw her chair at me.”

In the meantime, Dean has been placed on house arrest, which, through a press release, she said was fine because that’s where all her booze is RM