BIKINI BOTTOM, NJ: SpongeRobert “SpongeBob” SquarePants was forcibly removed from his pineapple residence early this morning for nonpayment of rent.

The scene turned violent when SquarePants, who was heavily intoxicated at the time of the incident, began making repeated anti-Semitic remarks towards one of the officers on the scene and attacked him.

Cassandra “Sandy” Cheeks, SquarePants’ sexual partner and personal trainer, attempted to intervene, but was stopped by SquarePants, who struck her. Cheeks was uninjured, as SquarePants is a only a sponge.

Patrick Star, SquarePants’ longtime friend and additional sexual partner, was unavailable for comment, having been involved with a very interesting balloon.

SquarePants is being held on 10,000 Krabby Patty bond, equivalent to $3,000 U.S.