CUPERTINO, CA: A patent leaked this morning revealed that Apple Computers Inc. is actually SkyNet. It described creating “self-aware devices everybody likes so much, they’re willing to let anything happen to them, including the subjugation of humanity.”

Many remember SkyNet as the reason why John Connor’s best friend is also his father.

In an early draft of Jobs’ biography obtained by Rumor Machine, the turtleneck enthusiast recounted originally intending to name his company SkyNet, but backed away because he “thought it would be fun to get into a legal battle with the Beatles.”

“I thought Steve Jobs was liberal up until a couple years ago,” said Landers Culgan, owner of Landers Culgan Enterprises. “Then they started with all this rights management stuff. He’s changed, man.”

There has been no word from Apple, nor any on the whereabouts of Sarah Connor.