THE BATHROOM, AN AIRPLANE: Comedy legend and renowned actress Rosie O’Donnell was trapped in an airplane bathroom for nearly 4 hours earlier today. The incident occurred aboard a JetBlue flight bound for Minneapolis, because O’Donnell was too cheap to spring for something nicer.

According to witnesses, at approximately 11:30 this morning, loud banging and profane shouting began emanating from the rear bathroom of the plane.

“She was all like, ‘how do you get this fucking thing open,’ and like all, ‘this is discrimination,” said a passenger who really wanted to talk to Rumor Machine even though Rumor Machine was obviously trying to read.

While trapped, O’Donnell managed to cause $47,000 in damages to the bathroom, including mangling the door, ripping the sink out, and what JetBlue cites as “unspecified fecal damages.”

A spokesperson for O’Donnell asserted that the incident “did not happen because she [was] fat.”