BLUFFINGTON, CT: A recent inspection by the Food and Drug Administration revealed that Honker Burger Inc. ( NASDAQ HKB) still uses trans fats, despite advertisements that said otherwise.

The FDA became suspicious after three employees at the Bluffington branch suffered heart attacks over a two-week period.

“I thought they might be lying about how healthy their food was,” said Mosquito “Skeeter” Valentine, a loyal patron of Honker Burger. “From now on, it’s just beets for me honk honk!”

The FDA is also investigating reports that Honker Burger has been dosing their burgers with bath salts.